Part 12 - Can't Hardly Wait     "In come the dollars, in come the cents,       To replace the pounds and the shillings and the pence.       Be prepared folks, I can hardly wait,       For the thirty-first of January, nineteen-sixty-eight! - Official HM Government jingle.

(Thursday, 20 June 1967) It was the last sitting day of Parliament before the summer recess. Some members had holiday commitments and had taken their leave earlier. Two such members were Secretary of War Enoch Powell and the shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer James 'Sunny Jim' Callaghan who had arranged to 'pair' each other. It had always been the intention of Her Majesty's Government to release the news of the new currency during the 'silly season'. The planned date had been 16 July, when the country would be abuzz with the last day of the Edgbaston Test. Unfortunately there had been a leak from within Treasury. At least it was assumed to be Treasury. It would be highly unprofessional indeed if the leak had come from the advertising agency entrusted by Chancellor Heath to sell the dollar sterling to the UK public. "I have in my hands a piece of paper," announced Lady Stansgate MP, the most senior of Labour's treasury team in the Commons that day, "that shows the government is secretly planning to turn this country upside down and halve the value of British currency. This reckless plan calls for no less than the abolition of the pound..." At this point Hansard records "Hon Members: [interruption]" as a huge wave of uproar and unbelief swept the Government backbenches. The whips and the executive of the 1922 backbench committee knew of the cabinet's plan but the rest of the parliamentary rank and file were in the dark. Junior ministers joined whips in hastily whispering the salient facts to their party colleagues. Labour MPs had been handed gestetnered copies Peggy's piece of paper as they had entered the chamber. Home Secretary Reginald Maudling leaned over the front bench and muttered to Chancellor or the Exchequer Edward Heath, "Ted, is the Red Lady accusing us of being revolutionaries?" Heath stood up and made the best official statement he could in the circumstances. Yes, the government was going to decimalise the currency. Conservatives always supported sensible, prudent practical change that was in the nation's interest. Sterling would remain strong. Future generations of schoolchildren would bless the name of Prime Minister Butler for making their sums easier. The conversion would be as simple as possible, even little old grannies would grasp the change easily. Pounds would remain legal tender from the introduction of decimal currency until the end of 1968. It was then Prime Minister Butler's turn. "Mr Speaker. My Chancellor and I promise this house and we promise the British people to keep the value in sterling. So long as I am Prime Minister the dollar sterling will remain the world's leading currency. When introduced it will be, and it shall remain, more valuable than other currencies in general and more valuable than the US dollar in particular. To this end I pledge my government. You can bank on the dollar sterling."

It was a furious Chancellor that rounded on the Permanent Secretary of the Treasury. "William, this is the worst leak I have encountered as an MP. This is worse even than a budget leak. Don't talk to me about civil service permanence! Heads will roll and necks will be spat down!" Sir William Armstrong was taken aback. He'd never seen his political master this rampantly angry. Heath looked like he didn't know whether to bite the carpet or a pillow. "Yes, Chancellor. Most regrettable. I shall institute a leak enquiry. You can rest assured that any culprits found will not go unpunished." "Any culprits? There must be culprits! I want them found and charged under the Official Secrets Act!" The chancellor took a deep breath and his face became a little less florid. "You may go now. Get onto it quickly." "Yes, Chancellor." Once Sir William left the ministerial office he sighed. It wasn't anyone in the Treasury, it was that man Ogilvy, he was sure of that. Ogilvy or someone in his company. But how to prove it? And without proof, how to convince the Chancellor that the Conservative's pet advertising agency was responsible? Should he call in the CID or MI5 to investigate? It couldn't hurt if there was nothing to hide. What was he thinking! There was always something to hide. You don't want to have someone go looking for a leaked minute and discover an official doing some pre-budget speculation in the City as a way of retirement preparation. Best to approach a former permanent secretary. Whose turn was it now? Norman. Yes, Norman was sound.

(Monday 29 January 1968) General Walter Walker loved the smell first thing in the morning. There was such a delicate fragrance. Once the cooking fires were lit and the water buffalo dung was heated by the sun the magic passed. "It's quiet, Kitson. Too quiet." "Yes, sir." Brigadier Frank Kitson missed General Cain. With him it had been 'Frank' and 'Bob'. Now it was 'Kitson' and 'Sir'. You had to have discipline but Walker was a martinet. Jungle warfare was no place for spit and polish. Still, Walker took an appropriate interest in military intelligence. Unlike the American generals who would obsess until they had the exact number of NLF[1] operatives in a hamlet and then blow the crap out of a distant village with a similar name. "I think Johnny Cong is up to something". With Walker it was always 'Johnny Cong'. Kitson had given up trying to use the FWA[2] standard nomenclature of 'Charlie' in the General's presence. "You may be right, sir. Analysis of PAVN[3] movements suggests concentrations of enemy forces in the north near Quang Tri, Hué and Da Nang, as well as in our zone of operations along the Mekong Delta at Chau Doc and Can Tho. There is even suggestions of some guerrillas massing near Bien Hoa and Saigon itself." "Bien Hoa? Saigon? They're our strongholds, Kitson. Haven't we got those areas pacified? How can Johnny Cong operate there?" "We certainly have sympathisers there, sir, which is one source of our intelligence. Since the build-up the PAVN have been pretty much on the run. They no longer contest our forces, relying mainly on booby traps and sabotage. This inactivity is costing them support as the South Vietnamese see the enemy's revolution faltering. It may be that they're gambling everything on one last throw of the dice - countrywide attacks to trigger a people's uprising." "There's not going to be a people's uprising is there Kitson? Not even with attacks all along the line?" The Brigadier nearly winced as the General referred to the theatre as a 'line'. The very nature of this low intensity conflict was that it was not linear, not one-dimensional. "No sir, but there will be chaos. If our conclusions are correct, the attacks will be timed for the start of the Lunar New Year, when much of the ARVN[4] would normally be stood down or at partial effectiveness..." "Our little Asian cousins are always partly effective, Kitson." Walker had a low opinion of the allied army on whose behalf Britain was fighting. "Yes, sir. Partial effectiveness by their own standards." "I see. Carry on man." "It may also be an attempt to influence the US elections." "I thought the Americans had their elections every November. Haven't they just had one?" "Yes, sir. But the presidential election is a drawn out thing. It starts in a month's time and won't finish until the first week in November[5]. A widespread Communist offensive, even if defeated, might panic civilians into thinking the war was spiralling out of control. In an election, that could put the cat among the pigeons." "Interesting, Kitson. My first instinct is to take the initiative and attack them before they attack us. But we only have our Brigade plus the Commonwealth battalion. We need to concentrate our forces, Saigon and Bien Hoa. We can't just abandon Chau Doc and Can Tho; I'll kick General Nguyen's arse and get him to reinforce those places and cancel all leave. But Westmoreland has all the striking power. We'll have to convince him about the seriousness of the situation and get him to make the first move." Kitson demurred diplomatically. "We may have some difficulty convincing General Westmoreland, sir. We know he's been reporting to his superiors that the war has been almost won and he may be reluctant to move from that position. Remember the last war but one? When we tried to tell the Americans about the danger to Hawaii and the Philippines? And afterwards they asked, 'Why didn't you tell us more clearly?'" "I'll tell Westmoreland clearly," growled Walker. "Even if I have to tap out the message in Morse on his chest with my swagger stick." And with that arresting military metaphor the General strode towards his staff car.

(Monday, 1 April 1968) Senior parliamentarians from both sides of politics had been invited to the American embassy for a white tie cocktail party. The recently appointed ambassador, Robert Kennedy, introduced the President to the various dignitaries. The President was on a thank-you visit to the Free World Allies and Britain was his first port of call. His absence from America during the primaries was not causing him any concern; last month he had handily won the New Hampshire primary despite his name not being on the ballot paper. A well organised write-in campaign had swamped a handful of also-ran malcontents. If truth be told, he had been worried that Bobby, a sometime opponent of the war, might have entered the lists. He hadn't, and LBJ had rewarded his rectitude. There was precedent, the ambassadorship had been something Bobby's daddy had held during WW2 and Johnson knew how much the Brits valued tradition. Looking around it seemed Caroline Kennedy already knew half the people in the room. And getting out of the Senate and getting some international experience would do Bobby some good if he wanted to run in 1972. God only knew Lyndon couldn't see Hubert ever becoming president. "Well, over my dead body," he muttered. "Mr President, Prime Minister Richard Butler," said the ambassador by way of introduction. "My dear Prime Minister, how delightful to see you." "And you too, Mr President." After some more pleasantries were explained, the President steered the conversation to the war. There was thanks for Britain's rôle, particularly in the recent events. "Prime Minister, this war hero of yours, General Walter 'Howling Mad' Walker. Is his nickname a result of your British sense of irony? Is he in fact a quiet, calm, collected man?" "Oh, no, Mr President. He's quite mad." "Good," thought the President. That checks with what Bill Westmoreland had said. Bill was a man of some personal courage but he seemed scared of Walker. Johnson had been afraid that Westmoreland was losing it. Still, Lyndon had been minded to ask the same question of the British Defence Secretary. How was this General Walker? Powell stared at him with cold, unblinking eyes. "Mr President, General Walker is just as sane as you or I." Meanwhile, Caroline Kennedy was introducing her husband to Jimmy and Peggy. "Margaret, Viscountess Stansgate is shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury in Harold Wilson's shadow cabinet. Anthony, Viscount Stansgate is a prominent Labour backbencher. This is Robert Kennedy, former Attorney General, former Senator for New York and American Ambassador to the Court of St James." "She's trying to make a point," thought Jimmy, "I wonder what it is?" [If you'll just let me continue.]

[1] National Liberation Front. Communists. [2] Free World Allies. Puppets. [3] People's Army of Vietnam. Communists. [4] Army of the Republic of Vietnam. Puppets. [5] Sometimes an election can go even longer than this without being resolved. But you already knew that.